True-faced or two-faced?

http://donmilleris.com/2011/05/04/when-doing-good-isnt-really-doing-good/

This blog from Don Miller is coming at me very timely.  We're doing a book study called 'TrueFaced', and it is kicking my self-righteous butt!

Just realizing how many things I've done through self-effort over the years, and selfishness.  Living in the realm of 'Pleasing God' - trying to do the right thing, and be a good person - rather than the realm of 'Trusting God' - letting him love me, just because he loves me - and he made me just who I am.  The book & video have a couple stories of different women, and how they have hurt others under the pretext of protecting themselves, or taking care of themselves.  Building a wall around you in order to protect.  And in doing so, others get hurt.

Yep, that's me. 

One of the things John Lynch said in the video last night was that when you wear a mask - you don't receive love - only the mask receives love.  Sad.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but - I believe - that 'when the student is ready, the teacher appears'.  So it's time for me to take down those masks, to be who I really am, to let God (and others) love me.  Then I will in turn be able to love others.

I wrote this poem when I was 16, Hmmm, I wrote it about someone else, but it seems appropriate...

Masks

Too many faces, I don't understand
Wearing your masks to no man's land
Seasons change, and so do we ~
But there's no need to hide from me.
I loved every face that you showed me,
though I know that they're really not you.
And every time I learn your ways,
you act out something new.

~tc