Truly

I need to get out of this work environment.  Truly.  It's not good for me.  I really think my boss is mean to me on purpose.  Either it's a power trip or he really hates me.  It's so weird. 
Today I heard parts of a radio broadcast about spiritual DNA.  Like what your gifts just naturally are... Well some of my gifts and passions are - listening to people, playing with children, emotional health and wholeness, spirituality.  I just want to be a better human - and look at things calmly and objectively.  Therefore, being in this 'chicken with their heads cut off, the sky is falling' atmosphere is just not comfortable for me.  Then I see myself becoming like them, and I don't like that!
New career, where are you????

Today...

I missed the Monday blog deadline.  Bad Teresa. 

Tonight's the last night of Hanukkah.  I lit the candles, said the prayers, and listened to Radio Hanukkah.  I don't think I make a very good Jew.  I burnt my counter and almost my hand.  I cleaned up my friend's menorah and then the candles didn't stick very well and they fell out and rolled onto the carpet.  argghh. 

Well, it was a good learning experience.

Today I had dinner with two close friends.  I'm very grateful for them, and other friends - true friends, in my life.  On the way home I heard a song that made me think that there are other people like me in the world.  You ever feel that way?  Like the words of a song could've come directly from your heart - and you're like 'yeah!  someone else gets me!'  or gets 'it'- or sees life like I do... This time it was Salvation Song by The Avett Brothers.  just awesome stuff... just be nice to share it with one of those people like me in the world.

It's been kind of a crap year, I will be glad for 2011 to show up.  ooooh, speaking of which, I gotta go look at sonogram pics of my grandbaby right now! 

peace!

Happy Hannukah!

I'm so excited for Hannukah tonight.  My good friend lent me a menorah, and I printed out the prayers from Wikipedia.  I love this.  I mean, after all, I do call myself a Christian - although I really don't like that term - as it means Christ-like - and I am not quite (by a long shot) that far along on my journey.  But following the teachings of Christianity without knowing and honoring the Jewish traditions and teachings, doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me.  It's an off-shoot of Judaism... or the next generation... or something. 
It's kinda like watching Joanie Loves Chachi without ever having seen Happy Days.  Or Maude without All in the Family... (is this a stretch?  i dunno, but i like it).
I'm learning stuff, too.  Tonight, we will say three prayers, then for the rest of the nights, only the first two:

‏

Blessing for lighting the candles

ברוך אתה ה' א‑לוהינו מלך העולם, אשר קדשנו במצותיו וצונו להדליק נר (של) חנוכה.‏

Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner (shel) hanuka.

"Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Hanukkah light[s]."

Blessing for the miracles of Hanukkah

ברוך אתה ה' א‑לוהינו מלך העולם, שעשה נסים לאבותינו בימים ההם בזמן הזה.‏

Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam, she‑asa nisim la‑avoteinu ba‑yamim ha‑heim ba‑z'man ha‑ze.

 "Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, Who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days at this time..."

Sheheḥeyanu ("Who has kept us alive")

This blessing is said whenever something pleasant that has not happened for a while is encountered.

ברוך אתה ה' א‑לוהינו מלך העולם, שהחינו וקימנו והגענו לזמן הזה.‏

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam, she‑hehiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higi'anu la‑z'man ha‑ze.

 "Blessed are You, LORD, our God, King of the universe, Who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season."

I love that Hebrew is written right to left.  Being left handed, this works for me.

# 3

So - this week's post will be a little early - since I've been messing with my computer all weekend.  I don't really know how this blogging is supposed to work.  Should I know what I'm going to say before I say it?  Should I have an outline?  (fat chance)
Thanksgiving was really good and peaceful.  I forgot to pray!  It was at my house, and I've really been in a contemplative and grateful mood lately, and I was thinking I wouldn't feel weird, and I would just pray a prayer of thanks from my heart - and then I just spaced it with getting everyone instructions on how to get their food and all.  Then I felt weird when I did remember... (sigh...)  I can write it here.
What I am thankful for:
Both of my parents had surgery this year and are fine and healthy now.
Shiloh was born this year.
Katharine started pre-school.
(maybe this seems like an end-of-year list, but I don't care - I was thinking how happy I will be when this year is over, so I decided to make a list of things I'm grateful for.)
I found out I'm gonna be a grandma.  (!)
Mel and Pete got married.
Life is really good - despite all the bad stuff that happens along the way.  Even with that, when people die - you can be thankful for the good - the times you shared - what you gave and what you received.   It's all part of the journey...
 

Monday, Monday.

OK, it's Monday - it's been exactly one week since I started this blog.  I think I'll make Monday blog-day.  It'll make it something to look forward to...

I don't know why but today I feel all warm and full of love and joy.  I had been sick, cold, and getting old and run down and what-not, but today I just feel good and hopeful and peaceful.  It's so much better this way.

This weekend was a lot of family time, and it was good. 
I got to hang out with Katharine and Shiloh and Kelsey on Saturday.  They're like the 3 Musketeers.  Or the Trinity - they're all kinda the same, yet distinctly different.
Destanee Night at the Stockton Thunder Hockey Game.  Destanee is my ex's niece - she died in June when she was hit by a drunk driver.  She loved the Thunder games, so her mom got over 100 people together to go in her memory.  It was pretty cool.

I'm watching a movie right now called In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz.  It's really good.  Or I'm really sappy...  She's reading a poem at her sister's wedding (which is at a Jamaican Restaurant complete with Bob Marley songs) by ee cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) 

I love it.  I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I don't really have any original ideas - I just like repeating things that are really cool or heartfelt or profound. 

Peace. The End.

Oh wait.  I went to Yoga today.  That was really cool, too.  Amen.


 

Happy Birth-Day!

Today is my 50th birthday...  

I have been toying with the idea of writing a blog for a while now, and today seemed like a good day to start.  So, happy birthday, blog...

I seem to have a hard time sticking with things - especially writing - so I think I will wait and see how consistent I am before letting anyone know that I'm doing this.  Does that sound like a self-defeating prophecy?  Sigh...

Warning: nearly every thought in my head relates directly to song lyrics...  (example: above words relate to an Avett Brothers lyric 'I haven't finished a thing since I  started my life, I don't feel much like starting now...'  - and now that soundtrack is playing in my head...

I sometimes have ideas / thoughts / theories - that I think other people might relate to...  hence the blog idea.

To be continued...